Self Expressions

I want to write so bad but I know I need to sleep. I have to tell y’all about my memorable weekend. Ok but I’ll be back. Moral is to always make the best out of the situation and you’ll always have a blast. It’s important to maintain a good attitude regardless of what’s going on around you. Whatever is happening won’t affect you unless you allow it to.

5 hrs later, Ok so my bestfriend and I went ziplining way on the other side of town at Kuloa Ranch. With low and fast beats playing in the background by the new artist 6lack, I read my book out-loud on the way up “Lust for Life” by Sylvester McNutt III. It was incredibly calming and peaceful for the both of us. This set the tone for our day. Peaceful no matter what.

We got to the 1st zip and it started sprinkling and by the 3rd zip it was pouring down on us. There were 7 zips total and we had a blast! The rain felt like pins and needles poking my face but the fun was worth the pain. After we got back, we ran to the car to get out of our wet clothes. I keep lounge/workout clothes in my trunk for some reason because I like to be prepared. I through on my hoodie and turned on the heated seats. Who would think heated seats would be used in Hawaii? Thank God for heated seats because we were freezing. We got on the road and came to a line of cars trying to figure out why the standstill of traffic then the flood warnings sounded off on our phones. Looking ahead of the cars in front of us, we seen a car stuck in the flood. I looked to the side of me and the water was rising up fast about to cover the rest of the road so we turned around quickly to head the other way. The gps kept saying make a u-turn probably because the other route around the island was 2 hrs long. We stopped to grab snacks and got on the road for our 2 hr safe trip around the island.

Sometimes the shorter route is not the safe route. Sometimes you actually have to have patience and endure some obstacles together to see where one another heads are at before you can get to where you want to be. He was calm, cool, and collected just as I was in the midst of flooding waters next to us and driving on half flooded roads. This reminds me of the dynamics of our relationship as 2 humans. The gravity of us is that we slowed down the speed of us to continue building onto the foundation of us. I’m enjoying the longer route because it has become a journey for the both of us. I asked him how it feels to know that he can be cut off from my friendship at any given moment. It still says a lot about his character because I’d be long gone if I knew somebody would cut me off because my anxiety would’ve lost its mind wondering when we would’ve gotten cut off. We communicated the entire time throughout the trip because it is important to talk about how you feel and express anything that needs to be said. I’m thankful that words flow so easily between us. It is not always that easy for most people with the way technology has allowed social media to evolve.

People don’t know how to communicate anymore. They hold all of their feelings in and then their feelings come out in their actions and behaviors. Their feelings come out in the way that they talk about you to others, in the way that they include others but purposely leave you out of activities that you were once involved in, in the way that they speak nonchalantly to you, in the way that they ignore you, in the way that they don’t respond to your calls or texts, and in the way that they avoid your hugs and affection. And the most hurtful, in the way they forgot your character altogether and how you look at the world. They made assumptions instead of openly communicating their feelings and that can cause a lot of unnecessary confusion. Oh and drama but some people love and can’t help but to create or involve themselves in drama. I am not one of those people so you know the rest…

People are always too busy trying to box other people up. Don’t. Categorize and place in a compartment. I am all of those categories and all of those compartments. I cannot be organized because I am everything and I can adapt to anything. Even if I am uncomfortable at first, I will adapt and make myself comfortable like I was never uncomfortable.

I read vibes very easily but I don’t take hints well. I’m not a punching bag and I’m not one for misdirected anger. I can walk into a room and change the attitude of the entire room with my aura alone if I feel like it. It does take an exertion of energy and it can be draining so I usually stay clear of negative environments and or people unless someone reaches out and says they need me. This may be the reason I don’t go to the club anymore because it is full of negative energy and damaged souls looking for a host so they can be a parasite. On the other hand, If you need me then I’m there and I’ll give any amount of energy I need to in order to pacify the state of emotion someone that I care about is experiencing. I will let you vent, I will cry with you, I will exchange a transfer of energy with you taking in yours as I deplete myself of mine. Yes I have exhausted myself before but after sleeping a few hours, I was fine. That is the extent of my care because I am an empath.

I love everyone and realize their battle is not with me, I’m just a distraction from the real pain. Creating drama where drama doesn’t exist is just a distraction. Being upset with someone else for a petty reason allows a person to suppress what their really angry about. I won’t say where I learned that at but you’ve heard it before. I believe in expressing my real and true feelings when it comes to expressing myself.

If I don’t express myself, I am only hurting myself. I am only holding myself back. I am damaging my spirit. I am hurting my heart. I am abusing my mind. I am being a detriment to my health by weakening my own immune system. I am killing myself if I don’t express myself to whoever I need to express myself to. If I am not real then I am fake. I can only be authentic. I can only be original. I can only be true to myself and genuine with everyone else.

Then I have to remind myself, everyone does not have the same heart as I do. Everyone surely doesn’t have my mind. Can’t teach anyone how to think clearly or maybe I can…we shall see

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